names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
