I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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