I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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