can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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