Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize