That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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