They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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