oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
