Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize