if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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