We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
