What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you made out with another girl for some wings
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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