I wanna bring you to show and tell
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
