yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize