Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
