So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
