How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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