shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
