i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
