I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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