She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize