She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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