Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
