i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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