I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
