I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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