i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
