Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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