I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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