I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
