so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
