Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
