Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
