my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
