If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
