I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
