I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he puts the penis in happiness.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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