im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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