so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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