I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
