your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
