the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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