In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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