And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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