problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
