we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
