East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
