I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he fucked my hip out of place.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
