Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
