she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Congratulations! We have a period
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