Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
