I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
