She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
