and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she told me i tasted like america
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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