i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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