Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
