Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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