Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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